Monday, June 24, 2013

Motherhood at it's finest

My Dear Children:
You owe me.  BIG.  It is 9 in the morning and I would like to paint a picture of the scene I have just endured on your behalf.  In an attempt to cut Tyces hair, which, I hate to point out, but it must be done, Tyce, you were screaming like a banshee and running away from me...hence the uneven jagged edges of hair around both of you ears.  Hali was in the bathtub because she wet the bed, again, and had just emerged sweet smelling and clean when a royal fit ensued over the wrong color of towel I brought to her highness.  I was then sentenced by her to the dungeon, but luckily, Madi swept in and saved the day (love her).  Although Madi, you did wet the couch last night that you were sleeping on, I have no idea how to clean that thoroughly and may have to donate it to some unsuspecting victim at goodwill (it is old anyway), it's the circle of life people.  And now you Kylie.  Well, you weathered the hair cutting and towel storm fairly well but I noticed a particular stench emanating from you and took you in to change you in the midst of tyce rinsing off in the shower from all the hair that he was telling me through his tears were itching him.   Can I just say right here that changing you is more like roping a tornado than  changing the diaper of a 10 month old.  And how is it that I feel like you are stronger than me? In the midst of this diaper change, I hear an  ear curdling cry from the shower.  Over and over.  I would have come sooner son, but I was up to my elbows in poo.  I was fairly sure that someone was doing you bodily harm, by the intensity of your yelling.  With the last strap of a diaper in place on a baby turned bucking bronco, I ran into the shower hopping mad.  You wanted the shower head lower.  I should apologize now for the fit I threw at that point.  Needless to say, I am keeping track of all of this and I am not raising you out of the goodness of my heart.  When you are older and successful I am sending you a very large and detailed bill.

Sincerely, and with love forever,
your mother